I've been thinking on this for a while, and wanted to finally put it to writing. I'm not sure how many of you have heard the TLC show, "Sister Wives", but that was the inspiration for this posting. Long story short, the show is about a polygamist family living in Utah, where a man is "married" to three women, and throughout the series, is courting a fourth woman, who he "marries" in the final episode.
Before I go any further, I should mention that I do not agree with their lifestyle. I firmly support the teaching of the Catholic Church that a marriage is between one man and one woman. I also firmly believe in the sacramental nature of marriage, and have seen both sides of the fence, as it were.
During the final episode of Sister Wives, the man, Kody, reveals to the current wives that he and the new wife had gone around the other wives, and done some things without their knowledge. In this particular instance, it surrounded the issue of the wedding gown the new wife chose. The current wives were hurt, disappointed, and felt betrayed.
One of the wives, Christine, mentions after a break in filming, that even though she was upset with Kody, she loved him very much, yet she was holding him accountable for his actions. And that comment hit me like a bolt of lightning! He didn't get upset with her about her comment, he acknowledged it, admitted his fault, and asked for forgiveness. Again, I don't agree with their lifestyle, but I have to admit I was impressed by his actions. Some men would have said things like "you just have to deal with it, or oh well. But no, he didn't blame anyone but himself.
He expects much from the women he calls his wives, but at the same time, those women expect a lot from him. Not just monetary support, but leadership within the home. They recognize a truth many dismiss. As men, we need to be held accountable for our actions, even if that is as simple as knowing that our women disapprove, be they our wife or our daughters, or our mothers. So often, I hear women say things like, "oh I'm just going to let him go; it's not worth the hassle to have him involved."
Women, I hate to say this, but we are men. We need to be held accountable. Wives, we don't need you to be our mothers, but as we are the head of the family, you are the heart. We will listen to our heart. Demand of us that we be that better man; that we sacrifice ourselves for you, and the children.
Men, ask your wives to hold you accountable, call you out. You have chosen this woman to be with you for life, make it a partnership, not a wrestling match. Be an example to your boys of how a man is to act; and equally as important, be the example of what your daughter should expect from a man. Or better yet, remember that your children are already watching you, and they will follow your example, for good or bad.
Just a few thoughts for this Thanksgiving night,
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Martin Bautista- prayer request
Well, just when I thought I might wait to post again until I could put some thoughts together, someone else's needs are found to be greater than my own. Please read the email I sent to friends this evening.
Friends,
As some of you may know Martin Bautista (son of Mary Ann Bautista) is currently at Phoenix Children’s Hospital with complications from rejection of his kidney transplant that he received when he was 2 yrs old (he is now 15). Right now, no one is certain as to what will happen. Mary Ann is Eli’s aid in her 4th grade CCD class at St. Thomas the Apostle, and of course the family is part of the family here at St. Thomas. Martin attends Veritas Preparatory Academy in Phoenix. Below is the email that Mary Ann sent to Eli this evening:
The "official" pathology report is in, and it doesn't look as good as the initial report. It show acute vascular damage, which we knew, but also moderate cellular damage, which we didn't. The kidney scars in patches, so we don't know if the majority of his kidney is that bad. Only time will tell. As of today all his T cells are gone, so the ATG is doing its job & has stopped the attack. Now we just wait to see what, if any, healing will occur. There still is the potential to heal back to where we were before this began. Either way, we have to revisit the transplant/dialysis concept sooner rather than later. We always knew it was coming, but now it is more of a reality. Please God we will be able to hold a few more years. Either way, we will make it. God is great & takes perfect care of us.
I know that often I come to you with various needs, and tonight is no different. Would you please pray for Martin, and his family, as they endure this trial. I don’t know which prayer is “appropriate” as it were, but we all know that if we offer our prayers to Christ in confidence, that He will present them to His Father, and according to His will, grant them according to His plan.
Please storm Heaven with your prayers, ask Our Lady to intercede on behalf of the entire Bautista Family, and for Martin in particular. Let us ask her to perfect our imperfect prayer, that she will can smooth our rough edges, and present our petitions to her Son, Our Lord, that they be granted.
Your prayers are truly appreciated.
Pax Christi,
Charles
Friends,
As some of you may know Martin Bautista (son of Mary Ann Bautista) is currently at Phoenix Children’s Hospital with complications from rejection of his kidney transplant that he received when he was 2 yrs old (he is now 15). Right now, no one is certain as to what will happen. Mary Ann is Eli’s aid in her 4th grade CCD class at St. Thomas the Apostle, and of course the family is part of the family here at St. Thomas. Martin attends Veritas Preparatory Academy in Phoenix. Below is the email that Mary Ann sent to Eli this evening:
The "official" pathology report is in, and it doesn't look as good as the initial report. It show acute vascular damage, which we knew, but also moderate cellular damage, which we didn't. The kidney scars in patches, so we don't know if the majority of his kidney is that bad. Only time will tell. As of today all his T cells are gone, so the ATG is doing its job & has stopped the attack. Now we just wait to see what, if any, healing will occur. There still is the potential to heal back to where we were before this began. Either way, we have to revisit the transplant/dialysis concept sooner rather than later. We always knew it was coming, but now it is more of a reality. Please God we will be able to hold a few more years. Either way, we will make it. God is great & takes perfect care of us.
I know that often I come to you with various needs, and tonight is no different. Would you please pray for Martin, and his family, as they endure this trial. I don’t know which prayer is “appropriate” as it were, but we all know that if we offer our prayers to Christ in confidence, that He will present them to His Father, and according to His will, grant them according to His plan.
Please storm Heaven with your prayers, ask Our Lady to intercede on behalf of the entire Bautista Family, and for Martin in particular. Let us ask her to perfect our imperfect prayer, that she will can smooth our rough edges, and present our petitions to her Son, Our Lord, that they be granted.
Your prayers are truly appreciated.
Pax Christi,
Charles
Monday, October 18, 2010
Knocking the dust off
Well, I was inspired to knock the dust off the ol' blog, and see where it might take me.
A lot of things are going on in my life now, way more than I can properly speak of in one posting, so I will likely parse it a few ways. Probably the biggest thing I can think of for now is my ongoing discernment to become a Deacon. I think that if I had told someone 5 years ago that not only would I come back to the Catholic Church, but that I thought I should pursue becoming a member of the ordained clergy of the Church, they would have laughed incessantly. And rightly so. I was hardly living what one could call a holy life; God was someone I thought about in terms of "what has He done for me lately", and precious little did I consider that there might be any alternative but going to Heaven when I die.
All that has changed. I strive each day to be a good father, a good husband, and seek to align my will with God's. I say that I am discerning the diaconate, for it is not certain that I will become a Deacon, least of all in my own mind. And when I see the examples of some very good men that already are members of the diaconate, I wonder what would possess me to even consider such a thing.
This I know: Each time I try to dismiss the idea, a host of reasons are shown to me that I must go down this path, explore it, and trust in God that He will lead me through that which He has lead me to. I know in my heart that I want to serve the Church, and lead others to Christ. In that respect, little else matters. I seek to love my wife and children more each day, to be the man they need me to be, and to provide them with the loving support they need. If I can then align my will with God's then perhaps I might have done some good while here.
Well, I invite you to follow along, make comments if you will, and see where this journey takes me.
May Christ's Peace be with you always,
A lot of things are going on in my life now, way more than I can properly speak of in one posting, so I will likely parse it a few ways. Probably the biggest thing I can think of for now is my ongoing discernment to become a Deacon. I think that if I had told someone 5 years ago that not only would I come back to the Catholic Church, but that I thought I should pursue becoming a member of the ordained clergy of the Church, they would have laughed incessantly. And rightly so. I was hardly living what one could call a holy life; God was someone I thought about in terms of "what has He done for me lately", and precious little did I consider that there might be any alternative but going to Heaven when I die.
All that has changed. I strive each day to be a good father, a good husband, and seek to align my will with God's. I say that I am discerning the diaconate, for it is not certain that I will become a Deacon, least of all in my own mind. And when I see the examples of some very good men that already are members of the diaconate, I wonder what would possess me to even consider such a thing.
This I know: Each time I try to dismiss the idea, a host of reasons are shown to me that I must go down this path, explore it, and trust in God that He will lead me through that which He has lead me to. I know in my heart that I want to serve the Church, and lead others to Christ. In that respect, little else matters. I seek to love my wife and children more each day, to be the man they need me to be, and to provide them with the loving support they need. If I can then align my will with God's then perhaps I might have done some good while here.
Well, I invite you to follow along, make comments if you will, and see where this journey takes me.
May Christ's Peace be with you always,
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