Thursday, November 25, 2010


I've been thinking on this for a while, and wanted to finally put it to writing. I'm not sure how many of you have heard the TLC show, "Sister Wives", but that was the inspiration for this posting. Long story short, the show is about a polygamist family living in Utah, where a man is "married" to three women, and throughout the series, is courting a fourth woman, who he "marries" in the final episode.

Before I go any further, I should mention that I do not agree with their lifestyle. I firmly support the teaching of the Catholic Church that a marriage is between one man and one woman. I also firmly believe in the sacramental nature of marriage, and have seen both sides of the fence, as it were.

During the final episode of Sister Wives, the man, Kody, reveals to the current wives that he and the new wife had gone around the other wives, and done some things without their knowledge. In this particular instance, it surrounded the issue of the wedding gown the new wife chose. The current wives were hurt, disappointed, and felt betrayed.

One of the wives, Christine, mentions after a break in filming, that even though she was upset with Kody, she loved him very much, yet she was holding him accountable for his actions. And that comment hit me like a bolt of lightning! He didn't get upset with her about her comment, he acknowledged it, admitted his fault, and asked for forgiveness. Again, I don't agree with their lifestyle, but I have to admit I was impressed by his actions. Some men would have said things like "you just have to deal with it, or oh well. But no, he didn't blame anyone but himself.

He expects much from the women he calls his wives, but at the same time, those women expect a lot from him. Not just monetary support, but leadership within the home. They recognize a truth many dismiss. As men, we need to be held accountable for our actions, even if that is as simple as knowing that our women disapprove, be they our wife or our daughters, or our mothers. So often, I hear women say things like, "oh I'm just going to let him go; it's not worth the hassle to have him involved."

Women, I hate to say this, but we are men. We need to be held accountable. Wives, we don't need you to be our mothers, but as we are the head of the family, you are the heart. We will listen to our heart. Demand of us that we be that better man; that we sacrifice ourselves for you, and the children.

Men, ask your wives to hold you accountable, call you out. You have chosen this woman to be with you for life, make it a partnership, not a wrestling match. Be an example to your boys of how a man is to act; and equally as important, be the example of what your daughter should expect from a man. Or better yet, remember that your children are already watching you, and they will follow your example, for good or bad.

Just a few thoughts for this Thanksgiving night,


  1. Your "few thoughts" are extremely profound!!! Thank you!

  2. "but as we are the head of the family, you are the heart"...Amen brother!