Monday, March 12, 2012

International Adoption- The Saga Continues......

So, we continue to wait to hear from the Russian court if we should proceed or forget about Russia for adoption.  No news today, and we were hoping to hear from them.  Maybe there was another snowstorm in Moscow.  Wait, there's a snowstorm everyday in Moscow!

No matter what, I guess we should start prepping for a home study.  So, I'm pretty close to putting together a fund-raiser.  I will have tickets made up soon for it.  Thinking we will do a giveaway of a "New Ipad", or whatever it is they will finally call it.  You can most certainly bet I will be posting about it once we proceed.

Did I tell you I am freaked out by this?  That I cannot simply the believe the overwhelming responses I've received in regard to this issue?  That we are afraid of hurting a little boy who so deserves to be loved.  But I worry.  Don't sound surprised by this, I will admit only under extreme scrutiny or torture (like being forced to watch "Wall-E" over and over without the benefit of Jameson's) that I worry about very many things at all.  But I worry for everyone involved here.

I am freaked out about the overwhelming body of evidence that points to the fact that little boys that come out of Russia have great difficulty attaching/bonding to their new families.  Even boys that have spent some time with their biological family before becoming part of the Russian orphanage system have some issues, but ones that have never been in a family setting, and reach certain ages have the deck stacked even further against them.

And oh yeah, and let's not forget the language issue.  My pitiful excuse for Russian comprehension is non-existant.  Any grasp I had of the language was lost years ago.  How do we communicate with a little boy who speaks no English, and prepare him to enter school?  The math says that if we start this now, best case we get him home by the end of the year.  Do we keep him home from December until next summer and put him in school the following August?  Or do we immerse him in the language and put him in kindergarden right after Christmas?  What school would even take him?  Not to mention we don't even know how well he can get around, or if he has the cognitive ability to grasp the material.

So we sit, and we pray.  And we wait, and we pray.  We discuss, we research, we try not to become overwhelmed by the body of evidence that says that if we bring this little boy into our home, that he may never adapt, that he might not ever function independently.

Does anyone out there know anyone that can offer advise?  We are willing to listen, and to prayerfully consider all options.  But we don't want to hurt this little boy, and we need to know if we are up to the challenge. 

St. Jerome Emiliani, pray for us

Blessed Mother Teresa, pray for us

Blessed Pope John Paul II, pray for us


  1. One of my best friends adopted two children from Ethiopia - they were 4 and 7 when they came home, and spoke no English whatsoever. I know it's not Russia, but she might be able to help you with the whole teaching English/entering school worries. (Her oldest was my oldest's best friend in 1st grade back in Maine).

    Let me know, and I'll connect you via FB.

  2. Charles, I am so excited to hear your little one might be home as early as Christmas! I hope you hear something soon. This waiting game stinks!

    I'm sure people will crawl out of the woodwork to offer advice and money and prayers! We can't wait to help in any way we can!

    1. I'm being very optimistic on that front. I'm hearing it could be as much as a year.

      As always, just pray that we can properly discern God's will for us.

  3. The money, the prayers, the ability will all come. The bonding will come. You are both prayerful people. You have the Lord on your side. This WILL work out how it should.

  4. Charles, I'm a friend of Leila's and a blogger who is also considering adoption through RR. I have neighbors who adopted from Haiti-a 5 year old girl and a 10 year old boy. Both of them picked up English pretty quickly. I'll bet the same would happen for your Russian boy. For schooling, I'm sure someone (perhaps at the school, perhaps a pediatrician or psychologist) could advise you on that issue.

    I know the feeling of having so many obstacles-so many things to worry about when thinking about an adoption like this. I'm going through it right now. There is so much to be afraid of, but I always come back to Scripture: There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear." The boy we are praying about adopting has a serious congenital heart defect and we talked about what would happen if he died because of it, how would we be able to deal with that? It is a scary thought, that we could adopt him and then lose him shortly thereafter. Or that, because of his Down Syndrome, he could be dependent on us his whole life. I can raise lots of objections, but I always think of two things: that I cannot allow my own fears to cloud my discernment (and possibly leave a child meant to be ours in an orphanage) and that if this is God's will, then we ought to let nothing stop us and let go of our hesitations.

  5. May I suggest to you the book "Adopted for Life" by Russell Moore. He and his wife adopted two boys from Russia and it is a compelling and encouraging read for those of us who are adopting and who love Christ.